Sunday, August 4, 2013


I remember when I was 16.  I wanted to have a huge sweet 16 party.  My cousin had one that was out of this world.  It was in a fancy hall, with an outdoor patio with pillars and a trimmed garden.  I remember there being classy white walkway stones and the grass was cut so perfectly that this part of me thinks that it was fake.  The inside of the hall was huge.  The floor was a wood grain, and was as smooth as the floors on a dance studio.  The dj was loud and his lights were typical dj lights.  All the boys were in suits and ties and all of the girls didn't wear a dress that cost less than $100.  I remember wanting a party like that for me so badly.  I wanted to glide across the dance floor with my friends, and having all of the attention on me.  I wanted a big, pretty, puffy dress, with all of the sequins and sparkles.  I wanted a dress with so much tulle it would put most fabric stores out of business.

My cousin is two years older than me.  I had been to other sweet 16 parties that weren't her's, but her party was the party I wanted to have as my own.  So over the course of two years, I went to my friend's sweet 16 parties.  I observed what they had done.  Most of my friends had a small hall.  The event didn't have a hired caterer, but always had a dj and a dance floor.  The birthday girl always had on a pretty with all of the frills, but it always seemed out of place.  Then it was my turn to have my party.

I had a huge, frilly dress.  It was a $400 dress.  I remember it was the weight of a small child.  It was beautiful.  It still hangs in my closet.  It was a teal, off the shoulder gown covered in brilliant beading and sparkling sequins.  The skirt was full enough to hide a small family of four.  I felt like a princess in it.  I fell so hard for that dress.  It's still one of the most beautiful things I own, even though I can't fit in it.

My party was never like my cousin's party, simply because I could never afford it.  I'm no mad about it.  I don't get upset.  I don't cry at night knowing that my cousin had a glamourous sweet 16 and mine wasn't as glamorous.  I just know that if my cousin decides on something, there is a good chance that even though I may love it, I'll never be able to afford it.  Sometimes it's cool to get a small taste of the things you can't afford, and other times, it's disheartening.  

There is a point to this story, though, I promise.  My cousin is getting married on 9/28.  Yay!  Congratulations!  I'm happy for you!  I'm not being a sarcastic bitch about it!  I think it's nice that she is getting married and moving on with her life.  It's always happy to see someone get to do that, especially when you feel like you're stuck in the mud.  I haven't told my friends about this blog yet, simply because I don't have a ring.  I know I've mentioned this in earlier posts, but even so, I've got three years.  It's a long time, especially since the last three years of mine feel like they have dragged on so slowly.  

I graduated college three years ago in May.  I was unemployed for nine months.  One and a half of those months I worked about 20 hours a week.  I got a job after six months, but it was an on call job, and I didn't work much when I got called in.  Then I worked a job doing on the phone customer service.  It was awful.  Every day I was insulted by customers one way or another. Mostly, I was called a liar, but sometimes I was personally insulted.  One woman asked me if I was hard of hearing, which I actually am. (I have difficulty hearing the difference between e, t, d, b, p, and c sounds, to start.  Words blur together constantly.)  I was asked if I was so desperate for money that I would work at such an awful place.  I was constantly insulted about the way I spell my name.  I don't spell my name with a G to be hip, it's how it's written on my birth certificate.  I was named after my great great aunt.  Asshole.......

Anyways, so it's nice to see my cousin getting an opportunity that I haven't been able to achieve yet.  It's also an interesting to see what she does at her wedding and learn from it.  How big is the venue?  How many people did she invite?  Who is the DJ?  What does she do her father daughter dance to?

The place she had her bridal shower at yesterday was a place I had seen on wedding websites.  Getting to go in and take a good look at it was really cool, considering that I liked the look on it online.  It's just intriguing.  

So now is my time for a nice shameless plug.  To help in my wedding escapades, I need some extra funds.  If you are interested, please check out my Etsy shops for some awesomely fun jewelry and crocheted items.  I'm also have a crazy summer sale, so take a look!

Thanks everyone!


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